The problem is that things are always messier than the how-to’s make them out to be.
This is why it’s often better to think less about specifics and more about the principles and qualities to get you through hard times. When you get it, you get it. You’re not relying on some checklist.
Brene Brown coined “the messy middle” in her book Rising Strong. She talks about how projects, ideas, new jobs, start ups and the like begin with big ideas and all kinds of enthusiasm – that is until you hit a wall. The messy middle.
As much as we try to dance around it, jump over it, or pretend like it’s not there, you can’t skip it. It’s an essential part of your growth. Learning how to struggle, process, question everything, and make it out the other side whole requires slugging through the mud.
Are you in the messy middle of something?
In nonprofits, there are plenty of messy middle’s to choose from: a campaign that’s failing; a gala that remains flat year after year; a board member that’s wreaking havoc and needs to step down, but no knows how to make it happen.
It’s hard to be strong and vulnerable at the same time. What will it take to make your way through the messy middle in whatever you are dealing with in your nonprofit? And manage to come out on the other side stronger and wiser?
It’s pretty basic, but rarely taken advantage of…self reflection.
Self-reflection allows for an increased awareness of problematic performance (maybe yours?) and the ability to figure out solutions.
So what does self reflection actually mean? Peter Drucker explains “it means we have to learn to develop ourselves.”
Do you take time to reflect about you?
Just as you would coach or mentor a staff or board member to improve their performance, you could do you the same for yourself. This is a way to never stop increasing your leadership capacity.
It’s different than your annual review. Self reflection is driven by you. It’s personal and much more powerful than anything a written evaluation can tell you – although they’re important too.
When you don’t take the time for self-reflection you are essentially saying you are perfect as a leader and you no longer need to develop and grow.
This not only hurts you and your career, but you are letting your staff and board down as well.
How does this translate into improving your effectiveness as a nonprofit leader?
Ken Blanchard wrote, ‘…I believe that effective leadership is really a transformational journey…and self leadership comes first, because effective leadership starts on the inside. Before you can hope to lead anyone else, you have to know yourself and what you need to be successful.’
Do you know your fundamental strengths?
It may seem obvious that people achieve results by doing what they are good at and by working in ways that fit their abilities. But, Drucker says, very few people actually know—let alone take advantage of—their fundamental strengths.
Watch Yourself and Learn. In the Harvard Business Review article, Managing Oneself, Drucker wrote, “Whenever you make a key decision, write down what you expect will happen.”
I love that. Pop it in a google calendar.
Nine or 12 months later, compare the results with what you expected. Drucker called this self-reflection process feedback analysis and credited it to a 14th-century German theologian.
He said it was the only way to discover your strengths. It can be private or part of a regular communication between you and the board, or your boss.
Becoming more self aware means taking time to self reflect, even when it’s uncomfortable or you have no idea where you’re headed. There are tons of books, programs, retreats and other stuff out there to consider if this interests you. In the mean time, Rising Strong is a good start.
Do you know what you need to be successful?
Tricia Dell is a fundraising coach, facilitator, and strategist for nonprofit organizations. Learn more at triciadell.com.
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